Those of you who know me well know some of the crap I had to deal with as a child and teenager, even as an adult...things that were beyond my control, family situations that deeply affected me, struggles that were completely unforeseeable. There were moments when I STRONGLY doubted the goodness of corporate church, moments when I was wounded or betrayed by friends, things that were so traumatic to me as a middle-schooler that I have completely blocked them out...moments when my parents were so caught up in their arguments or issues that they missed important parts of my life and broke my heart. Some of those wounds I carried for a long time, completely unaware of their existence until confronted with a vague memory that sent me to my face in bitter tears as the emotional scar was ripped open and the wound bled fresh.
And yet, in the midst of all those things, there has never been a point in my life where things seemed or felt hopeless. I've been angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, disgusted, fed-up, pissed-off, exhausted, dejected even, but I've never felt hopeless. I've never felt hopeless because I know that whatever I'm going through, however difficult the path, I have someone I can cling to, someone I can rely on, someone who will never fail me, never abandon me, never betray me, never let me down. And that give me hope because I know I have a glorious end, no matter how awful the journey sometimes appears to be.
My hope, my trust, my faith rests in Jesus, and Him alone. So, bring on the dark days, bring on the lies and slander, bring on the betrayal, bring on the hurt and pain and suffering because life is full of it, and there is no escaping what comes. But my eyes and my hope shall rest on Jesus, and though the wind howls, and the waves crash, the sea shall not swallow me whole. Because I know He loves me, and I know He's with me, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my ending, regardless of the embattled journey, is beautiful and glorious because my ending is an eternity of love, peace, and joy in His presence.
"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Romans 5:1-5
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