Living Psalm 22

Today is one of those days when I am so glad that my identity is in Jesus.  I don't know how people without Him survive. Even on the good days, but especially on days like today when I feel attacked and hard pressed.  I know I must decrease so He can increase, even when my flesh wants to rise up.  And it wants to rise up hard today.  It wants to rise up and be mean and ugly and hateful, to scream and cry and cuss, to throw my hands up in the air and cry out "screw you, I'm done!"  It wants to go to war and physically pound and beat and annihilate the enemy that surrounds.  I want to be carnal - to fight a battle in the flesh, even though I KNOW that I am not in a fleshly battle.  I know it won't do any good, and that makes me feel helpless.  Helpless.  Broken.  Frustrated.  Lost.  Surrounded.  Alone.  Pissed off. 

And I can't FEEL God in this moment, even though I know He's here.  And I can't understand how this is good, even though I know it has to be because He's in control.  And only GOOD things come from Him.  And I am His so, logically, I know that this has to be one of those things he's working "for good."  But right now that's no consolation to me.

And I am really identifying with Psalm 22:11-15. "Be not far from me, for trouble is near; for there is none to help. Many bulls have surrounded me; strong bulls of Bashan have encircled me. They open wide their mouth at me, as a ravening and a roaring lion. I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within me. My strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue cleaves to my jaws; and You lay me in the dust of death."

I've gone through something similar to this twice before.  And I HATE it.  I hate how painful the process is... how dry and solitary the time is... how alienated I feel when I'm here.  And I don't want to praise the Lord for this.  I don't want to be thankful and grateful.  I don't want to lift my hands and my voice in worship.  I just want to wallow in my anger and frustration.  I just want to let my ego scream and rail about injustice.  I want my own vengeance...not God's justice, which I know is infintely better than my wrath.

But I have to remember that Psalm 22 doesn't stop at verse 15.  I have to push through and remember how it ends (verses 23-31): "You who fear the LORD, praise Him; All you descendants of Jacob, glorify Him, and stand in awe of Him, all you descendants of Israel. For He has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; nor has He hidden His face from him; but when he cried to Him for help, He heard. From You comes my praise in the great assembly; I shall pay my vows before those who fear Him. The afflicted will eat and be satisfied; those who seek Him will praise the LORD.  Let your heart live forever! All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD, and all the families of the nations will worship before You. For the kingdom is the LORD’S and He rules over the nations. All the prosperous of the earth will eat and worship, all those who go down to the dust will bow before Him, even he who cannot keep his soul alive. Posterity will serve Him; It will be told of the Lord to the coming generation. They will come and will declare His righteousness to a people who will be born, that He has performed it."

Sometimes life sucks, and we feel completely surrounded by the enemy, and we feel as though NO ONE is on our side.  Today is one of those days for me.  But no matter how I FEEL...deep down in my innermost being I KNOW God is good, and I KNOW God is sovereign, and I KNOW I am His.  And because of that, I have peace.  So I will praise Him in the good and the bad times, in the hard and the easy times.  When I'm happy, when I'm confused, when I'm sad, and even when I'm pissed off.

I Don't Need Your Piece of Paper

I'm going to start by saying that this blog is not meant to minimize, or lessen the accomplishments of others.  I have many friends who went to college, completed the courses, and now have degrees, and I hold nothing against them.  Rather, I applaud them for sticking it out and following through on what they know is right for them.  It is, however, meant to express my opinion of people who are closed-minded to the point of fascism about college degrees.
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I realize that we live in a society of forward-thinkers, big business, huge industries, and stocks and bonds.  But we also live in a country where the economy is going to pot because of the corruption of our governing officials.  I won't say "government" as a whole, because I believe the structure, as laid out by our founding fathers, is sound.  But I won't balk at saying "government officials" because at some point in the last forty or fifty years being an elected official transformed from "public service" to "lip service", from "the greater good of the people" to "the greater good of my wallet." I make that sweeping generalization, knowing I'm going to tick people off...knowing that there are men and women out there who represent their constituents with integrity, but also knowing that, no matter the party, most of our governing officials are compromising their stance on issues that got them elected, or are completely corrupt.  That's the plain truth.  But I didn't set out to write about the government.

We live in a society today where unemployment is up, the stock market is down, and the economy is in the crapper.  In 2008, we imported $2.5 trillion, while we only exported $1.7 trillion, (that's an $800 billion dollar deficit).  That deficit has only increased since then, which is why we're in such debt.  And because we import far more than we export, we have watched the value of the dollar - once the strongest currency in the entire world - wither.  We have watched the liquid assets of our great nation dry to nothingness so that our government has borrowed money from other countries in order to bail out the insurance industry, the health care industry, the automobile industry.  We have watched the gold in our coffers become as worthless as clay. Our consumerism is catapulting us toward another Great Depression.  I won't lay blame on any one person, or party, or decision for the dissolution of the American dollar, and thereby the American Powerhouse Reagan fought so hard to rebuild in the 80's.

With all of this recession, unemployment, and outsourcing, America's citizens find themselves in the worst possible job market.  There aren't enough jobs to go around now, and each year millions upon millions of kids country-wide graduate college and, with their diplomas in hand, begin the job hunt in an already impossible market pool, flooded with more experienced men and women who were just downsized by their previous employers because of budget cuts or outsourcing or some other reason.  Employers cling to this impetus that college degrees are a necessity for employment, even for a basement-level employee who passes out the mail and gets everyone their coffee.

They say: "You must have this sheet of paper from an accredited university, sealed and signed by the correct officials, stating that you successfully completed 120 hours of classes, spent tens of thousands of dollars over the course of four or five years, during which time you sat through classes, memorized facts for tests, then promptly forgot them when they were no longer necessary in order for you to complete the course."

And you know what?  If you aspire to work in Law, the Medical Field, Education, or Corporate America, I can understand that as a prerequisite.  If I ever needed a lawyer, I'd want to know he knew what he was doing when he defended me.  But for those of us who don't work in those industries, it seems preposterous.  Especially to people like me, who didn't finish because, believe it or not, God didn't want me to.  That might seem crazy to some people, but it's true.  I went for three semesters, and I was ABSOLUTELY and COMPLETELY miserable during the last one because I knew I wasn't supposed to be there.  God made sure that my classes and my professors were horrible.  Then when He told me to go home that time, I listened, and within five months He provided the job He wanted me to have at the place I've been employed for 9.5 years. 

Does the fact that I didn't graduate college minimize my intelligence?  Does the fact that I didn't sit through 120+ hours of classes mean that I'm suddenly not smart anymore?  Does it reduce my IQ?  I don't think so - in fact, I know it doesn't.  I am neither smarter nor stupider than I was when I graduated high school eleven years ago.  My IQ didn't change.  I have added to my knowledge base; I just didn't add information learned in a college lecture hall.  I added practical understanding of life, of my job, of musical instruments and the Word of God.

And what bothers me is that people who tried college and didn't finish, not because they weren't smart enough to, but because they didn't feel they were supposed to be there, are treated as inferior beings by people who consider a college degree to be some sort of humanizing standard in the same way that Hitler held onto his qualifications of the Aryan Brotherhood.  Hitler said, "You're only worth my time if you're blond-haired, blue-eyed, non-Jew, non-Handicapped, non-Black, etc.  If you don't fit those criteria, you are less than human."  And there are people in the world today who look at me, or at people like me who don't have a college degree, and say, "You are only worth my time if you've sat through 120 hours of class, if you spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on education, if have a piece of paper with a seal and a signature stating you graduated from a university.  If you fit those criteria, you are less than human."

And you know what?  It's a stinking pile of B.S.  Hard work, experience, practical application, and a positive attitude are just as important as that framed piece of paper hanging in people's offices.  In fact, I could argue that in some cases those attributes are more important. I have met several people in my life who have gone to college, gotten the degree, and then had no idea how to apply what they'd learned once they had a job. 

Theoretical knowledge is worthless until it is put to practical application. Just because a person has a degree in business management, does not mean that he will be capable of managing people, much less running a company.  Just because a person has a degree in communications or restaurant hospitality or any other possible subject, does not mean that she will be successful in a real work environment.  If a person is not willing to work hard, to put in the hours, to adjust and problem-solve in the moment, to apply their knowledge in a way that doesn't alienate their co-workers or subordinates, there isn't a diploma in the world that can make them an asset to their employer.

It used to be that a man would work his way up, could start sacking groceries in high school and one day find himself managing the entire store if that's what he wanted.  Nowadays, that is not the case.  Most times that boy sacking groceries for minimum wage won't get advanced any farther than, perhaps, head cashier or deli manager.  While the company hires in some guy who spent four years at a university and has never once actually held the positions he's now poised to manage. And I think it's a dirty, rotten shame. 

And I think that people who judge others by their possession or lack of a college degree are as bigoted as the Nazis were about the Jews, or the KKK were about African Americans, or McCarthy and his minions were about anyone who appeared to be or associate with a Russian.

So, to all those people who look at me as worthless or unintelligent or less human because I don't have a college diploma, I have only this to say:

If my lack of a degree means that I'm not worth your time and if you can't respect me as a person without that signed, sealed piece of paper, you're a fool, and I honestly feel sorry for you.  I don't need your piece of paper to define me, but it's apparent that you need it to define yourself.

Thoughts on all this stuff about Osama Bin Laden

There’s so much talk about Bin Laden’s death, so much celebration and excitement, that I thought it was a worthy topic to blog about.

When I heard the news – or, rather, when I read the news – on Facebook two days ago, my initial reaction was, like most of us, “Wow, they finally got him!”  But the more I thought about it, and the more posts I read – posts that said “rot in hell” or other things of a similar nature, posts of rejoicing over a man’s death, it grieved my heart.  Not because I liked the guy – I obviously don’t.  Not because I felt sorry for him – I believe he has reaped what he has sown.  But because these friends of mine, these CHRISTIAN friends of mine were, for all intents and purposes hooting and hollering and having a party about his death.  And all I can think is that if it wasn’t for God’s grace and my belief in His son, Jesus, I would suffer the same horrible fate as Bin Laden.

I’m not here to minimize the fact that Osama Bin Laden was responsible for hundreds, even thousands of deaths, including the deaths America suffered on 9/11.  I’m not here to argue that his death is unjust.  I’m not here to say our military should have captured him alive so he could stand trial like Saddam Hussein.  Bin Laden is culpable for murder, among other things, and I believe our military did its job and did it well and we should be grateful for their service.  And I completely believe that his end is a just end.

What I am here to say is that it is wrong, regardless of the person, to rejoice over and revel in a death – most especially the death of a person who is obviously not going to Heaven to be with Jesus.  No matter what I think of a person, whether good or evil, death is a thing to be grieved.  And the knowledge that a man or woman died unsaved, having lived a life filled with deception by the Enemy, is not a joyous thing.  And the Father’s heart, which desires all men to be saved – the Father’s heart that so loved the world that He sent His ONLY Son – is not happy about Bin Laden’s death, or the death of any man or woman who has rejected Christ.  God’s justice prevails, because death without Christ is eternal rejection of the Father, the consequence of which is Hell.  But His heart, which beats only Love, His heart which runs out to meet the wayward son, is grieved by the loss.

The problem we face is that as humans we put grades on sin.  We say one sin is worse than another sin.  Cussing isn’t so bad.  Telling a lie is worse, but not by much.  Stealing is wrong, much worse than lying.  But what’s really bad is murder, rape, child molestation.  Those things are despicable.  So, we think that because Bin Laden’s actions led to the deaths of so many people, he is somehow a “worse” sinner than the rest of us. 

But God doesn’t grade on a curve.  God doesn’t even grade on an “A” “B” “C” “F” scale.  With God, it’s either pass or fail.  It’s either 100% or 0%.  And without Jesus, we all fail.  That’s just a simple fact.  Without Jesus, that lie you told yesterday…or that bit of gossiping you did in the break room at work…or the cheating you did on a test in middle school would send you packing, right alongside Osama Bin Laden, to that Hell you want him to rot in. 

The fact of the matter is that Osama Bin Laden did deplorable things.  He was a terrorist responsible for more deaths than I could count.  But he is only a man, and his death does not end the war.  His death does not end the trouble.  Because he was just a man – and men are replaceable.  And Man is not our true Enemy.  Satan is our true Enemy, and now that one of his henchmen is dead, he’ll simply use another instead.  And it doesn’t matter how many bullets or bombs or missiles we have, none of them do any good in the real war that is being waged.  “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal.”  And our enemy is not a man that he can be killed with a bullet.  But he uses men through lies and deception to attack us.  So we believe a man is ultimately responsible for the devastation and we rejoice in his end when it comes…not realizing the Devil has a hundred men lined up behind him to take his place.

I guess what I’m trying to say in all this is that we need to take stock.  We need to examine ourselves. Are we behaving the way Christ would behave in the same situation?  Or, are we behaving the way the enemy would behave?  Would Jesus cheer over the death of a man destined to eternal damnation?  Or would Satan?

It is a sobering thought: that a Christian would cheer and be excited over a Muslim’s death in the same way an extremist Muslim would cheer and be excited over the death of an infidel. 

I know I don’t want to be guilty of that.  So, I will not rejoice in Osama Bin Laden’s death – but I will rest in the knowledge that a little bit of God’s justice has been meted out to the wicked.  And I will pray that the wicked repent and come to the saving knowledge of Jesus.

Thankful

Favorite Caedmon's Call Song:  Unfortunately, I can't get it to embed. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0HS_ICk8Js

Her Pulse

I was thinking the other day about what the average women would say to the man she loves, if she had the guts to be completely honest.  What do we, as women, want men to know about us?  Disgregarding personal and individual goals and needs, What are the core needs, desires, hopes of members of the female sex?  For what does a woman's heart beat?  What would a woman say to her man if she would allow herself to just speak plainly, to truly express her heart to him...without fear of shame or repurcussion or embarassment?  This poem came out of that contemplation.

Her Pulse

Pursue me,

I am longing to be wooed

In body, mind, and soul, in word and deed

Entice me.

I want to be intrigued;

To know my heart can race, can skip a beat

Adore me.

I long to know my worth.

I need no flowers or chocolate, just your time.

Admire me,

But please do not enshrine.

For sooth, I'll disappoint if held too high

Encourage me.

Prove that you're on my side

To hold  my hand and share my heavy load.

Empower me.

I need to hear, "you can."

Believe in me, support me, be my fan.

And lead me,

But do not domineer

Be gentle and be sure; lend me your ear.

Oh, love me

Through service and sacrifice

So shall you gain devotion without end.

(c) Kasidee Gilchrist 2011

When Scripture Is Hackneyed Or Misused



For this blog, I'm just going to focus on one particular scripture, and that scripture is Romans 8:28.  Here are a few different translations of the verse.

ESV - "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

NKJV - "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

NIV - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"

YOUNG'S LITERAL TRANSLATION - "And we have known that to those loving God all things do work together for good, to those who are called according to purpose"
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Everybody knows this scripture, or at least, everyone who has ever been in church for a moderate amount of time knows this scripture.  I feel like it's the second one we learn, after John 3:16.  And it is definitely the one most quoted.  It's like a crutch, or platitude we use when something bad happens.  Someone gets sick, we say, "God works everything for good..."  Someone loses their job, we say, "God works everything for good..."  Someone dies, we say, "God works everything for good..."  And I know that when I'm going through one of those times, the LAST thing I want to hear is that verse used as a platitude.  I know the Bible says it.  I know that something better is around the bend.  I know my trial is momentary, but I don't want it preached at me in a disinterested, "it's gonna be okay" sort of way. 

It loses impact when we kick it around like a hackey sack.  Especially when our hackneyed usage causes people to misuse or  over simplify it, or only use half the scripture.  Here are some common misconceptions and misuses:

We expect not to suffer because God is "working for our good."  Not everything that happens in life is good, because we live in a fallen world ruled by Satan.  If you think becoming a Christian was going to end your sorrow, suffering, frustrations, etc., I have news for you.  It doesn't work that way.  There will always be trouble, there will always be trials, there will always be suffering.  But God takes the things our enemy meant for evil and works them for good, as he did with Joseph when his brothers sold him into slavery.  "But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive." Gen 50:20

We quote the verse to the unsaved, and apply it to them.  Things are not worked to the good of EVERYONE on earth.  He only works good for those who love Him.  Telling a lost soul that God is working something bad and turning it for their good is not simply an untruth.  To them it might mean that they can continue in their sins without repercussion.  And they can't.  There is always a consequence...in this world or the next.  "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23

We expect for the evil to reap only evil and the good to reap only good.  Expecting things to ALWAYS be sunshine and rainbows because God is working things for good is also erroneous.  Life is life, full of good and bad for everyone.  There are bad things in the world, and there's no escaping them.  Likewise, there are good things in the world, and we all benefit from the goodness of God.  "...for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust." (Matt 5:45)
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We do ourselves and others a disservice when we misuse scripture.  It could cause a person to believe they're saved when they aren't, or could cause someone who wanted to be saved to change his or her mind.  Both possibilities are sad and, frankly, unacceptable. 

We also do ourselves and others a disservice when we quote scripture in a polite platitude.  Platitudes are haphazard and demonstrate little more than apathy and self-righteousness.  People who are going through trials or loss don't want to be mollified.  They want to be loved and supported.  They want to cry and scream and yell and rage without getting slapped in the face by a trite smile and scripture quotation.  (Not that you shouldn't quote scripture to them, but that you should be careful how you do it and which scripture you use.)

Because when scripture is hackneyed or misused it doesn't do anyone any good.  Least of all the person we're speaking it to.

Manic

A poem I wrote at a time I was feeling misunderstood and completely out of my depth.

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Manic

I am up and down and inside out

Within the confines of my existence

A roller coaster ride of emotions

A mixed bag of strange devotions

One moment I feel free and the next

I’m bound, gagged, and locked in captivity

Not even a court order can get me out

My jailor does not know acquiescence

And we are annoyed by each other’s presence

Or presence of mind

And now I’m flying high above the clouds

Feeling carefree and extraneous

Untouchable, relaxed in my own skin

Until I hit some turbulence and then

I panic, my self-assurance vexed

I lose the fight with gravity

I’m plummeting to my demise among the crowds

Who watch me free fall plainly just

To witness something odd and spontaneous

Or spontaneously blind

(c) Kasidee Gilchrist 2011