So...for the past three and a half weeks or so, I have been battling one of the bugs that went around here in East Texas. Everyone seemed to have it, and most of us thought it was sinuses because the weather in late Feb and early March was so insane. Freezing for three days, then the next day it would be 65 degrees. Then it would freeze again, and then it would be nice again...and so on and so forth until we all, (or at least I) figured that our bodies were all out of whack because of the crazy weather. Anyway, this junk was going around around, and mine conveniently settled into my lungs.
Yes...I was really excited about that. I was excited that because of the coughing, I wasn't able to lead worship at church. I was excited about doubling over and coughing so hard I gagged. I was excited about having to sleep on my back instead of my stomach so i wouldn't suffocate from all the congestion. (BTW...this entire paragraph is sarcasm.)
I don't like medicine. I don't go to doctors. I am one of those strange people who completely trust Jesus for my health and healing. I figure, He promised it to me, and if His promises are "yes and amen" (2 Cor 1:20), and if God cannot lie (Numbers 23:19), then who am I to say otherwise? So, I bore the coughing fits, sucked on hundreds of cough drops (which do very little for congested lungs by the way), and just trusted that when He was ready to heal me, He'd heal me. I will admit that I did take Tylenol Sinus when I went to sleep, just so I could sleep. But during the day, I didn't take anything.
People kept telling me, "Kasidee, you should go to the doctor." "That sounds like it could turn into bronchitis." "You should take something for that." But I would just shrug and say, "I don't go to doctors" or "Jesus is my Healer." I know everyone thought I was crazy. Especially when I actually coughed so hard last week that I pulled a rib out of place. (Yeah...apparently you can do that. And trust me, it doesn't feel good.) I don't blame them for thinking I was nuts. I don't blame them for counselling me to go to the doctor. The majority of people would have gone down to their personal physician, gotten a z-pack or something, and taken some sort of pharmaceuticals to dry up the phlegm and "fix" the problem. But I'm not the majority of people. The entire time I was going through this thing, I knew it was a test. A test to see if I was serious about trusting Him for my healing. A test I was determined to pass.
Last Sunday at church I was prayed over, to ask the Lord to heal the cough and the rib. The Spirit moved; I could feel it, though the healing didn't manifest immediately. The congestion was gone by Tuesday. The rib still hurts, but it's much better than it was, and I believe and trust that when this cough I have completely goes away and my body has a chance to rest, the rib will heal naturally.
I know this belief and this standpoint isn't for everyone. And I don't look down on anyone who gets medical care. I've told people honestly that if I sliced open my arm or leg, I'd go get it sewn up. Or if I broke a bone, I'd go have it set. But my personal convictions won't let me go much farther than that. I am compelled to trust in Jesus completely because He has proven so many times that He is trustworthy. And my faith in Him cannot be conditional, because His love toward me is unconditional. If my faith is conditional, it isn't really faith. It isn't faith if I say, "I trusted you come into my heart and save me, but I don't trust you to heal me." At least, it isn't faith to me...because by saying that I feel like I'd be saying, "I know You say You can heal me but I don't believe You." And that would be the same as calling God a liar.
Isaiah 58:6-7 talks about the fast God has chosen for us: to loose the bonds of wickedness and set people free, to feed the hungry and care for the poor, to clothe the naked. Verses 8-9 are the promises we have from Him if we do verses 6-7. And Isaiah 58:8-9 says this: "Then your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and He sill say, 'Here I am.'"
That's a promise I believe in because I've lived it. So what if my rib's a little out of whack right now? Maybe that's the thorn in my flesh, and Jesus is telling me that His grace is sufficient (2 Cor 12:7-10). Whether my rib is ever completely healed or hurts until the day I go to be with the Father, it is of little consequence. Because this is what I believe, and this is where I stand.
"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" Josh 24:15
"Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; but we will remember the name of the Lord our God. They have bowed down and fallen; but we have risen and stand upright." Psalm 20:7
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