Sometimes People Surprise You...

It's true.  You think you've got a person all figured out.  You write that person off as a selfish jerk only concerned about himself/herself.  And then...he/she shows you he/she has a heart.  It's nothing big.  Maybe just a quick glimpse at a moment where he/she is genuinely remorseful for a word or deed...maybe a brief moment of selflessness or thoughtfulness or sweetness.  And in that brief encounter he/she acknowldge that he/she is not completely and totally oblivious to his/her stupidity or selfishness or butthole-ness. 

And it kind of sets your world on its ear for a little while.  And you think, "Hey, maybe he/she isn't beyond help or conviction or whatever.  You think that maybe this is a moment of change because there's some acknowledgement of wrong.  Maybe there's hope.

And then just as suddenly as it came down, the wall goes back up, and the jerk comes back out, and you're left shaking your head in disappointment. 

Because, apparently, he/she don't see any personal benefit in not being a complete and total jackass.  Apparently, being thoughtful and kind and selfless doesn't have enough perks.  And, well, it's all about the perks, isn't it?  And that just makes you want to scream.

And then you take a moment and try to get over the emotions of it all and face the facts.  It's hard for people to change.  It was hard for you to change.  And because you know that, you stop being judgmental, and you do the only thing you can for this person who knows what he/she does is wrong and hurtful, who knows he/she needs to change but just doesn't want to put forth the effort.

You get down on your knees, close your eyes as tight as humanly possible, and pray as if the entire world depended upon it.